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Reading casually
through this site, you might think that every game for the Sega CD
based on live-action, full motion video, was a horrible one. Not true.
There are some so truly awful that they are real blights on the gaming
community as a whole. We're talking pestilence here. We are talking
games so bad that the Nazis would have been postively beaming with
pride if they had the opportunity to use them in their campaigns of
terror. In fact, if Hitler had dropped copies of Midnight Raiders
on London instead of V-1s, well, the old chaps would be gulping watered-down
Heniken and and eating strudels as we speak.
Midnight Raiders
wants to be like a Hollwood blockbuster so bad it could piss its pants.
It wants to be up there with Top Gun, hell it would even settle for
Flight of the Intruder. The designers want you to sit back with your
fingers eagerly tapping the keyboard thinking "Holy shitballs,
it's like I'm in a movie!" The jaded gamer will
recognize right away this this plan is destined for failure, and once
again, cynisism wins over dumbassed marketing ideas.
You play as a
rookie chopper gunner named Joker, who's ready to prove himself and
get a piece of some action. He'll get his chance now that Middle Eastern
terrorists have abducted a brilliant German biochemist and forced
him to create a toxin that will (da da DUM) deshtroy zee vorld!
Your team is sent in to liberate the chemist and torch the facility
where he's being held. The rest of the one-dimensional supporting
cast, required by federal law to be in plots like this, are here -
you've got the CIA guy who cares more about the mission than the men.
You've got the kindly old colonel who cares more about the men and
is being forced to cooperate by the "higher ups". Your pilot
is a grizzled old veteran, the best man they've got, who keeps telling
you to stop being so reckless. Your competition is the female gunner
of the other chopper who continually and quasi-sexually taunts you
about your aim.
The
main draw of this game is its live-action video to promote more
"realism". I'm sure that realism is there somewhere,
perhaps hiding under all those big square clusters of pixels.
Raiders is one of the blurriest games I have seen for the Sega
CD, and its video quality is damned near incomprehensible. Between
shots of the mission leaders in a poorly-lit command room, and
shots of the pilots in dimly-lit cockpits, you're shown grainy
video of a target approaching. If you get your crosshairs over
it and press the correct button, you're shown even grainer
military stock footage of Apaches firing their missiles, which
then cuts to a shot of a miniature model being blown apart - often
over completely different terrain from the last shot (like forest
to desert). Then, just when you thought it couldn't get worse,
you're lowered into an oil facility to take out the terrorists
on foot. When does this take place? At night! If you haven't picked
up on the clues by now, grainy, blocky footage makes dark areas
look almost ink-black. Since it seems like the game is always
shooting in darkness, it dramatically decreases your ability to
understand once single damn thing on the screen. |
Gaffer!
Can we drop that light a bit? I can still see the actors. And
where's my DP? We need more pixelation! Put some Vaseline on
that lens! Let's go, we're running a production here,
people!
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Okay now
shake the camera a lot and make sure you offset the target brackets
in post-production. Hee hee.. the poor bastards that play this
will never be able to hit this chopper! They'll love it!
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The entire
gameplay of Raiders consists of watching a little bit of the plot,
shooting some things, then watching another section of the plot
until you reach the end. The plot sucks, and the shooting parts
yield unimpressive explosions. It's too bad you won't be as excited
about seeing the explosions as the overacting actors are, because
that probably should be the best part of the game. The pitiful
effects that reward your good shot are truly not worth the trouble
- and the trouble I speak of is, of course, the blasphemous controls.
You know you've got bad controls when you feel like Stevie Wonder
could match your score. The crosshairs swim around the screen
to begin with, and it's made even worse when you're expected to
target something about an inch wide, while the camera shakes and
bobs to simulate flight. Never once while playing this game did
I accurately and deliberately lock onto a target. Instead, the
only way to play Raiders is to flail your crosshairs around in
the general area of your target and hammer the fire key. Often,
the crosshair will eventually cross over the target while you're
hitting the fire button, and mercifully register a kill - but
not always. |
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Once
you hit the ground, things get the tinest bit better. The camera
still bobs and shakes, but you're now shooting men at close
range who present much larger targets. In fact, the ground mission
is probably the best part of this game. Of course that's not
saying much, because you're still doing mostly the same things
you were doing in the air, and the developers manage to ruin
even this. When you're shot down in your chopper, you're picked
up and get to start over again. When you're shot just once on
the ground, you die instantly and must restart the entire game.
Hammering the fire key also no longer works. It did, for about
five enemies, then the gun clicked mysteriously and refused
to fire. I pressed every button to try and reload, or fix the
jam, or whatever the hell it was, but it was no use and I was
killed. I found a manual, read that the C button reloads, tried
the game again, and this time pressed C many times when the
gun clicked empty. It never reloaded, and I died. Again. Bear
in mind there are no ammo indicators to go by, so I can only
assume that I ran out of bullets. Read this and understand,
the best part of this shitty game was cut short because it decided
I ran out of fucking bullets.
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Heroic
action-roll, GO! bang bang click...
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Even the sound,
the one part of the Sega CD that you cannot possibly go wrong with,
got screwed up here. Every voice in the game sounds too sharp and
crackily, even when they're not talking over radios. When you're hearing
a voice that's actually supposed to be on a radio, it's twice as bad.
Somebody dropped
the ball, right on their foot this time, and I hope they're still
screaming obcenities about it today. Midnight Raiders is a terrible
game, one of the worst of the worst, and one of the last Sega CD games
you should want to play.
-reviewed 1/17/03 - game copyright 1994 Sega

For the briefest
of moments, it was fun to "click" on a commando and watch
him die an overly dramatic, acrobatic death.

Ghastly video quality,
contender for worst controls ever, they even pooched the sound. The
UN better track copies of this game - it's that bad.


MobyGames - Midnight Raiders
Intro video on YouTube
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